Hello,
Yes I have butterflies, and they are all over in my stomach. I didn't sleep well last night! And when I have butterflies they don't like food, ugh! Part of the process. So right now it is 9:00 am. I am sitting here with my dog staring at me, bags packed, and my mom on the way to get me and bring me to MSP. I graduated CSB on Saturday, now I am proving to myself that I can be a big girl and travel to Africa ALONE! AHHHHH. Well all is well, I am glad I have done this once before.
So lets explore my other thoughts, feelings and reactions. Nervous, but very excited. I feel in a sense that I am headed home again. While in Rwanda I fell in love with the people, the sights, sounds and work. When I left I felt a real sense of loss, I promised myself I would go back, so here I am, promise kept. When I am in Africa, when I see movies, or pictures, they all remind me of my calling, my vocation, the reason I have spent over 2,000$. When I see pictures of sad, African children- my heart goes out to them and I know I must do something, I know I am the one who is going to answer the cry of the hurting people in Africa. But at the same time I struggle with myself- with thoughts of doubt and insecurity. Thoughts that maybe I am missing the mark- hearing His voice wrong, listening to the hear of my heart wrong. But I don't care I will step out on this ledge anyways- call it a learning experience. I know God is with me, not only with me, but carrying me. He knows my weaknesses and my strengths, he knows my heart, and the cry of my heart to help others and he finds it beautiful. So I tell my doubts, my insecurity, my negative thoughts to SHUT UP, and be still butterflies because the Lord is about to do something amazing, something profound.
I will try to update as much as possible- keep me in your prayers!
Love you!
Kelly
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